A First for Everything

It's Monday, the first day of my new job, and it made me think of other firsts in my life.  The feeling of anticipation, excitement, nervousness, anxiety and tons of other emotions that usually swirl around in my head on days like this all resurfaced again to greet me for another first in my life.  It's funny how many times I have experienced firsts in my life, even if it is a similar situation, the feelings are still the same.  I love these emotions all coming together and it is interesting to me that it is only during these first times that all these emotions come together. Today was a bit different, in that I took some time to appreciate these emotions and savor our time together.  Every day can be a first for something in my life, and being aware of it might help to conjure these emotions more often in my life.

Sunday View, A Haiku

To commemorate my last simple Sunday...a haiku, appropriate titled ~ 

Sunday View 
View from my window
Blue pink sky flower and light
Joy love gratitude

I’m in Love with this Feeling!

Only Nina Simone can put you in that sexy, saucy, feel good mood on a Saturday morning, and help you think about what makes you feel good. “Freedom is mine, and I know how I feel...It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me, and I am feeling good.”

Moving to a new place can not only help you assess your life and values, but it challenges you to go outside of your comfort zone and figure out who you really are and what you want from your life.  Having just moved a little less than 300 miles from the place I grew up, it is exciting to familiarize myself with my new surroundings.  It has also provided a wonderful opportunity for me to appreciate the little things in this world and to spend time focusing on what makes me feel good.  This morning it started with my girl Nina Simone’s hypnotic lyrics and sassy, deep voice.

Having started my day feeling good, it made me think of this list I read the other day of feel good moments.  It is called the Feel Good poem, and when you read it, you are supposed to take some time to recall all of your own personal feel good moments.  It brought a smile to my face and encouraged me to make my own list of feel good moments spent with family, friends, significant others and times I’ve savored on my own. 

This list not only encouraged me to think about these moments I had, but to also remember to take time and to think about my own mental list of feel good moments.  I think this is an exercise that is going to get me through the times when I am not feeling so good.  However, when that happens, because I am not “feeling good” all the time, I have Nina Simone to count on and my feel good list to get me through.

Falling in love.

Laughing so hard your face hurts.

That special glance.

Road trips with friends.

Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

Chocolate milkshake. (or Strawberry)

A bubble bath.

Giggling.

A good conversation.

The beach.

Laughing at yourself.

Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

Running through sprinklers.

Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

That special kiss.

Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

Playing with a new puppy.

Having someone play with your hair.

Playing in the rain.

Swinging on swings.

Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree,
while eating cookies and drinking eggnog.

Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

Winning a really competitive game.

Making chocolate chip cookies.

Holding hands with someone you care about.

Running into an old friend and realizing that some things never change.

Riding the best roller coasters over and over.

Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present.

Watching the sunrise.

Getting out of bed every morning and appreciating another beautiful day.

21 Days

When I think of the word habit, my mind immediately associates it with the word bad, but what I have failed to realize is that there are good habits as well.  I read that it takes 21 days to form a habit, but only 2-3 days to break it. 

If it only takes 21 days to form a good habit, I am left wondering how many good habits will I be able to form this year.  If my math serves me correctly, in 365 days, I could form about 16 good habits this year!  Although I believe that to be slightly unrealistic, it gives me hope that this year could be my year to form at least a couple good habits.

I heard on the news that January 7 is the day that people tend to break their resolutions.  It is the day that some become depressed because the holiday season is over, and there is not much to look forward to in the months ahead.  Bills start to pile up, and people realize that they spent way too much over the holidays and they have already given up on their New Year’s resolutions.  How does one get over the infamous January 7 hump and start working toward forming those good habits?

In trying to find a solution to this question and not having the answer myself, I decided to find people with special abilities for inspiration.  The question I asked myself during watching these videos was, what if these people had quit their goal before 21 days?


Bethany Hamilton, a surfer who lost her arm in a shark attack and continues to surf!

Angelo 'Lil Demon' Baligad, a breakdancer from Hawaii, has incredible b-boy skills.

   

These are only two exmples of kids who are an inspiration to everyone out there thinking about giving up on their goal, passion, dream or path in life.  Thomas Edison said, “If we all did the things we are capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves”.  Considering a year has 365 days, 21 days is a relatively short amount of time to form a positive habit in your life this year.  What will you do with your 21 days?

Feelin' the Flow, The Yoga Flow

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a Hungarian psychology professor and one of the top researchers in positive psychology, has spent most of his career researching people in a “flow” state.  Flow is described as the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity.

Looking back in history, many believe that there are several examples of this from various parts of the world and in many different cultures.  While painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling, Michelangelo was described as being in a state of flow, he did not sleep or eat and seemed to be in a semi-conscious state while completing his masterpiece.  Buddhism talks about a state in which one is “doing without doing”.  When we look at musicians, athletes, artists, and many other groups of people who are engaged in an activity, it seems as if they are fully immersed in their passion and have lost all sense of time perception and are in a semi-conscious state.

Watching people in this state or being able to achieve this state is an amazing experience.  Having practiced yoga for a couple years now, I think I finally experienced this tonight during my yoga practice.  For the most part, during my yoga practice, it is difficult for me to quiet my brain.  I am always so focused on things I need to accomplish, things I need to get done and sometimes, I even look at people around me to see how their form is or watch in awe of their perfectly straight headstands.  However, tonight was different, I was focused on my form, my practice and the mental and visual diversions were not there for me tonight.  Although this might not be attributed to “flow”, it was still a wonderful feeling to be into my practice, fully absorbed in an activity that I am motivated to do intrinsically.  I read this poem by Aaron Hoopes, the founder of Zen Yoga Breathe-Move-Relax, and I thought it did a beautiful job describing my experience of my yoga journey, my "flow" experience during yoga flow.

Too Busy to Relax By Aaron Hoopes

Too busy to relax they say... complaints, excuses everyday
They sound so weak, so stressed, so tired... a mundane world in which they’re mired
No time to sit and just be quiet... their mind’s a rush of thoughts, a riot
No chance they have to hear the sound... of nature’s wonder all around
Of birds and trees and clouds and air... too much work, it’s just not fair
This really seems quite sad to me... so much to do, no time to be

Breathe I say and move a bit
Then after that we can just sit
And watch the world at its own pace
There is no rush, it’s not a race
And if it were, what is the goal?
Where are you going mind, body, soul?

Too busy to relax I hear... these words seem like they’re based in fear
Tired, weak and too much stress... how did our lives turn such a mess?
We don’t need to look above... to find a place that’s based in love
Turn instead and look within... find your self, it is no sin
Forgive, let go, open your heart... it is the only place to start
Think on that and you might find... throughout your life you have been blind

Breathe I say and move some more
Run, walk, jump, stretch on the floor
Move your body, get up and go
Feel the energy, let it flow
Don’t get caught in negative
Habits that won’t let you live

Too busy to relax? Not true! ... this hoax must end, it starts with you
If all you do is just the same... you never will escape this game
Do something new, do something Zen... begin right now, not ‘if’ or ‘when’
Do one thing different, or two, or five... change how you live, become alive
Do or do not, there is no try... step off the cliff and start to fly

Begin with this, you won’t go wrong... remember to breathe, deep and long.

Smile³

Waking up at 4:30 am has been an off and on again ritual for me over the last couple of years.  Don't get me wrong, there have been long periods of time where I do not get up at this time, but recently, I have started the ritual again.  My main goal for waking up at this time is to hit the gym and start my day with an intense cardio workout or some zen yoga.  This morning seemed to be like any other morning, I rolled out of bed at 4:30 am, but in keeping with my practice of mindfulness, I was reminded of the phrase a dear friend used to say to me, "smile three times".  The purpose of this exercise, my friend would remind, is to smile three times when I am not feeling my best and wanted something to get me through a challenging situation.  This morning, it took on a slightly different meaning to me.

Usually when I arrive at the gym at 5:00 in the morning I am not myself, I more resemble some sort of zombie like creature who can barely manage a grunt, let alone a sincere smile.  However, this particular morning was different, I made the conscious decision to smile at everyone at my gym.  I was a little leery that my gracious gesture would not be reciprocated, but to my surprise most people shot back a huge, ear to ear, toothy grin.  Fantastic!  This made my morning, I was feeling good and thinking that the expression is true, "a smile is infectious".

To get back to the expression "smile three times", my friend might have meant to smile to yourself three times to feel better, or he might have meant to smile at three people you come into contact with throughout your day. The positive facial expression is infectious and can possibly bring the feel good feeling to another person who will then decide to pass it on.

Another day, another sunset

Every day this big, bright, beautiful star disappears below the horizon, signifying the end of another day. Depending on the weather, it is a wondrous sight with various colors filling the sky, providing an opportunity to reflect on the day and appreciate the wonders of nature and this world around us.  How many of us take the time to stop and look at this extraordinary occurrence?

A couple years ago I read a book by Viktor Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist, extentialist and also a Holocaust survivor, titled "Man's Search For Meaning".  In this book he writes about his experiences during the Holocaust and his time spent struggling for survival in deplorable conditions and being transported to various concentration camps. One night he and a group of other prisoners stop to look at the sun setting and this is what he describes, "Standing outside we saw sinister clouds glowing in the west, and the whole sky alive with clouds of ever-changing shapes and colors, from steel blue to blood red. The desolate grey mud huts provided a sharp contrast, while the puddles on the muddy ground reflected the glowing sky. Then, after minutes of moving silence, one prisoner said to another, 'How beautiful the world could be'!" Although these people experienced so much hatred, genocide, destruction, cruelty and lack of basic human resources, at this moment, they looked to the sunset and realized how very beautiful the world could be.

From now on, I will try to make the conscious decision to look at the sunset and be reminded of this quote.  At the end of the day, it will help me to put my day's events into perspective.  It will be an opportunity for not only self-reflection, but a time to realize how beautiful this world is and to pause and savor one of nature's spectacular moments.

Let It Go!

This morning I was struck by a phrase I read, “Let It Go”.  Ironically, I could not let the phrase go for a couple of hours.  I found myself thinking about these three simple words and how they seem easier said than done, but when we do, let it go, it feels freeing.

Sylvia Robinson said, “some think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go”.  Holding on to judgment, negativity and difficult situations can cloud the mind and distract one from focusing on the present and what is really important.  However, the process of learning to “let it go” takes the ability to change one's mindset and to see past the negative by focusing more on the positive.

A couple months ago I was not in a good place.  A friend of mine, instead of letting me wallow in my own self-pity, asked me to go to a Cowboy Mouth concert.  Cowboy Mouth?  I had no idea who this band was or what genre of music they played, and despite my better judgment, assumed they played country.  Although I am trying to be more open these days regarding country music, I was definitely one of those people when asked what type of music I listen to would say, “anything BUT country”.  After some contemplation, I decided that just getting out of the house would be refreshing, even if I did not enjoy the music, being in the company of friends always puts me in a better mood.

Upon doing some research, via YouTube, I found the band to be somewhat funny, engaging and lighthearted.  The concert proved to be everything I needed to lift me out of my funk.  The band is based out of New Orleans and the performance that they put on is equals parts, rock-n-roll, therapy session, karaoke, frat party and Mardi Gras all rolled into one stellar show.

In one of their songs, titled "Jenny Says", the lead vocalist/drummer, Fred LeBlanc, known for his lip smacking, tongue lashing, sweat dripping and drumstick rolling, belts out,"You beat yourself up to bring yourself down/Let it go/let it go/let it go/Let it go/let it go/let it go/When the world keeps coming down on me/I let it go".  Not even five minutes into the performance, I was acting like this was my favorite band and I knew all the words.  Not only that, I was convinced that Fred was singing this song for me, at me and about me!  "Let it go, let it go, let it go, Let it go, let it go, let it go!!!!!!!"

Positive emotions and an ability to have an open mindset regarding the music and situation, lead me to have one of the most memorable learning experiences of 2010.  In 2011, my goal is to be reminded of that night, that show and more importantly, that positive experience that taught me to, "Let It Go".

Although it might not be easy, at first, to let negativity go, to let uncomfortable situations go, to let someone passing misjudgment on you or vice versa go, but it is the process of having the self-awareness and the willingness to change.   I was sent an email this morning which had a quote from Lucy MacDonald that read, "1. Start each day with a grateful heart. 2. Focus on the positive aspects of every person you encounter. 3. End each day with a grateful heart".  These are three rules that I hope to incoporate into my gratitude practice and mindfulness as 2011 progresses. Namaste~

Happiness is...

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."  ~Frederick Keonig

When Coca-Cola decided to send three young people on a mission around the world to find out what makes people happy, I am sure they could have never envisioned the end product would be so powerful.  Kelly, Tony and Antonio, set out as "happiness ambassadors" to travel 206 countries and territories to find out what makes people happy.  What they found seemed very simple, love, family, friends, music, sports, good food and being able to share these experiences with others. 


In our day to day lives we often forget to stop and appreciate what we have in our lives and what beauty surrounds us.  I had a conversation with a man the other day about vacationing in Puerto Rico.  He told me that every time he visits there he is reminded of how important it is to take time to slow down, breathe and be nice to others around him.  Once back in his hometown in New England, he is sucked back into the social vacuum of fast living, deadlines and metaphorical blinders.  If each and every one of us would make the conscious descision to be aware of our surroundings, pay more attention and take time out for gratitude, we might all be a bit closer to finding our own definition of happiness.

Overcoming Adversity: To what extent?

"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain" ~ Joseph Campbell
 
I recently read an article about a young boy, Budhia Singh, born in the slums of India whose mother sold him to a peddler for 800 rupees.  Eventually, Biranchi Das (a judo teacher who also runs an orphanage) buys him back.  After being sent out on a run by Biranchi, as punishment for his fowl language, Budhia discovers his innate ability to run. By age three, he had already completed six 13-mile half-marathons.

Although, at first read, this sounds like a compelling story of overcoming adversity and strength, it quickly turns into a debate over child exploitation.  Being that Budhia is still very young, many people are concerned that he is not living out his dream of being a runner, and that he is being forced by Biranchi Das.

Whether you are on either side of the debate, Budhia Singh, at a very early age, discovered something that he was good at doing.  Did he experience joy from running?  Was it a time where he could think and release all the negativity he had to face so early on in his life?  These are questions that spoke to me during reading this article.  Finding a passion, unlocking an inner strength, discovering something that you are good at doing are things that I believe keep us alive and wanting more out of life.  If he continues to run in the future or decides that it is something he does not want to pursue, we will just have to wait and see.

As 2011 begins, I am hopeful that this can be a testament to overcoming adversity and discovering one's inner strengths, passions, and living life to the fullest. "And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been" ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Happy New Year, 2011!